To dear Manu....with love

I crossed him and felt a familiar presence, I turned to look back and our eyes held each other.. For a long time I looked into his eyes.. they were brown with stories to tell.. And there it was.. taking birth deep in his eyes and rolling down his cheeks.. I could see myself in his tears... I loved him and was oh so possessive about him!! He was my Knight in shining armor - tall, dark, handsome, with strong muscular arms and a taut, lean slender body. Every time he held my hand or prepped menby my waist onto his bicycle, I felt like his princess. He was all I needed and he would protect me from everything - or so I thought at that time. With two plaits, black ribbons in my hair, my short skirt flirting in the air and my shiny black boots I used to wait eagerly for him to arrive. He used to greet me with a familiar tring tring of his bicycle ring.. That was my call and I knew it so well.. he had come for me... I would quickly check myself in the mirror, tidy my already neat hair and go running down the stairs right into his arms. "U look beaaautiful my princess" he would greet and I could not stop blushing. We traveled so many years of our lives together... through sunshine rain and winter. In rains, he would guide the cycle with one hand, the other hand holding an umbrella firmly over my head. He would be drenched with his shirt sticking to his lean body like skin..but would not let a drop fall over me. He was my companion, my soul mate and a friend.I would speak and he would listen, I would sing and he would hum, I would cry and he would say "its all right", I would laugh and he would laugh louder, "I love you... Manu" I would say... "Mummum" the feeble voice called.... the voice so familiar and yet so different, yet so distant. He was old. His teeth yellow and stained with tobacco - the tobacco that he chewed too much to kill the hunger in his stomach. His rough skin pale and lifeless stretched like a thin tissue over his weak bones. He stood up with great difficulty, his movements slow and clumsy and he stood before me with tired folded hands. "Mummum" he called out once again. My eyes deceived me in recognizing him and my memory failed to place him. " I am Manu... Manu da...I used to ride you to school everyday.. when you were a lil princess...we would hide and eat golas by the road and struggle hard to wash out the color from our mouths lest ur mother found out.....I am Manu..YOUR Manu.. My years of growing up, lost innocence, friends, parties, lovers and the different places I traveled failed me from recognizing him who was once everything to me. Memories filled my heart and my throat and hurt my eyes.

I asked him how he was. His tired eyes, his tired body , his tired voice and his tired soul answered my question. He said he was fine and tried hard to manage a smile. His smile, still the same.. still filling up his face and sparkling up those eyes.. just the way it used to in his yester days! "I am fine but old.." he said " but look at you.. you have grown to be a fine woman my princess... and you look beaaaUtiful..". I dint blush anymore ( lost innocence !!!) . He said " I am old and I am tired but now that you have grown and I have found you back, you will look after me my dear... I am sure you will take care of me now." The guilt in my heart did not let me look into his eyes, the lump in my throat would not let me speak, I felt like I betrayed him.. let him down.. let him be lonely and alone for so long - let his life be the cheap alcohol, the tobacco, his hunger, his loneliness and his tears. I was too busy growing up to not think of him ever. I was too ashamed to say I am sorry, too ashamed to offer him money, too ashamed to hug him and say "I love you". I bought him food and we ate - he ate!! He ate like a baby, he ate with greed, he ate with hunger and I simply watched him eat. After the meal, I promised him I would meet him again.. got myself to give him some money and turned around to walk away. I walked slow, but every flesh in my body wanted to run...I turned the corner of the road, till he could no longer see me, and I did what I do best.. I RAN and I RAN and I RAN...

Manu died the next day..... I dint know.. I dint see him.. they told me someone found some money in his torn pockets and gave him a modest funeral... someone sprinkled his warm ashes over the cool waters.... Manu my Knight in shining armour died last week ( - Manu......my dear Manu............... I love you and I am sorry!