A simple afternoon walk

I am in a new relationship. It has been developing slowly and steadily and started right at the onset of the pandemic last year.

Of course like many other relationships around you, we too started out as friends. Mostly meeting in the crisp spring afternoons, sneaking away from work - me often with a coffee in my hand.

When our little adventure first started, I thought it was the greatest thing in the world - a daily countdown to our meeting time which provided me an escape from reality and yet somehow also keeping me tethered to reality. I was also so happy when I returned home after meeting you!

Meeting you felt like spending time with a best friend, a lover, a therapist all wrapped in one! Those early days, every time I met you I was at my best behavior. As we started getting closer I started reaching out to you at all different times of the day - first thing after getting up in the morning, our usual lunch time meetings which were often followed by us meeting promptly again in the evening after squeezing in a few hours of work in between, and, more recently our late nights hangouts. You my dear were beloved!

However as we hung out more, I started meeting you in all my elements and complexities - anxiety, fear, anger, boredom and perhaps even a mild depression that I may be too afraid to admit to myself but will only acknowledge in bed while watching an influencer's instagram post and meekly resonating with it.

We spoke about my friends and family, my boss and colleagues, my heartaches and my happy days. I asked you about climate change, politics, crypto currencies and even world peace. We sometimes even listened to books and podcasts together - ah those are my favorite days!

The more I kept meeting you, the more I wanted from you - I wanted you to solve all my problems, provide me all the answers,I wanted to transfer all my burdens on to you and expected you to somehow always make me feel good at the end of our meeting; as if, as if you had some magical power.

But then believe me my dear, everyone did tell me how amazing, talented and magical you were! How being with you would relieve stress, boost my energy, shoot endorphins in my brain - heck people even told me that you can help fight off heart diseases!

Personally I think you have held up your end of the bargain very well and it was high time we had this honest conversation and laid the facts out straight.

I now realize that I asked too much of you and took you for granted. You my dear are after all... a simple afternoon walk. So here is my promise to you my beloved, I will develop a few more coping mechanisms and then maybe, just maybe we can enjoy each other's company again!